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Engagement Ceremony (Le Dinh Hon) 

The Engagement Ceremony is known as LE DINH HON

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Below is a simple version of the ceremony. In Vietnamese Tradition, engagement is a very important event. This is a day when his and her families are officially introduced to each other. It is a date when both husband & wife make a promise, a commitment to be each other’s spouse in a near date. It is a date when the couple starts to calling each other’s parents as their parents in law. Usually, before the engagement day, the groom side of the family asked the bride’s family for approval of engagement date and offer the bride’s family gifts upon request. 

The groom's family will present to the bride's family with meaningful gifts in beautiful red trays. People from the Northern and Central region of Vietnam use odd numbers of trays while people from the Southern region of Vietnam use even numbers of trays.

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  1. Tea Tray

  2. Rings Tray (To exchange the promise to be each other spouse in a near date)

  3. Betel nut (cau) areca (la trau) Tray

  4. Wine Tray

  5. Sweet Sticky Rice Tray (preferred pink/red) Tray

  6. Husband and Wife cake (Banh Phu The) Tray

  7. Fruits Tray

  8. Whole Roasted Pig

  9. Other gifts (jewelry, clothes, money)

 

The Meaning of the Trays: ​

 

Tea: the purity of the love

Jewelry or other items: wealth & promising love for the two

Betel Nut & Areca: represent forgiveness and faithfulness of husband and wife for the whole life.

Wine: happiness

Sweet sticky rice with or without Jujube Fruits: Wealth for the two

Husband and wife cake or Cake: meaning faithfulness and respects for each other

Fruits: blessing a sweet and colorful marriage including fruitful (children)

Whole Roasted Pig: Wealth for the two of being fulfilling and sharing upon each other

The Day Of A Traditional Engagement


What’s usually happening on the engagement day? Groom’s family assigned a few people to carry the gift trays to present to the bride side. The groom side will usually have a representative for the family either the representative is a great uncle, close family friend or the father’s brother.

Once arrived at the bride family’s house, the groom family and relatives will line up. The orders of the lineup are the following:

 

  1. Representative and the person holding the tray of wine or tea.

  2. Groom’s Parents

  3. Groom (Holding the Bouquet for the Bride)

  4. Groom’s Men (Holding the Bridesmaid’s Bouquet)

  5. Gift Tray Holders (family members, groom’s men, or friends of the groom)

  6. Intermediate family

  7. Relatives

  8. Friends

After everyone is lined up, a string of firecrackers will be lightened to bring luck and scare away any bad omen.  As soon as the firecrackers are burnt, a representative from the groom side (uncle, great uncle or close family friend) and the person holding the wine or tea tray will ring the door to announce the groom’s side arrival. Then, they will offer a small cup of tea to the bride’s representative or parents for permission to bring the gifts into the house.  This act of offering tea before entering is considered a welcoming greeting and showing respect. 

 

The gifts exchange happens before the groom’s family enters the bride’s family house. The bride’s family, bridesmaid or friends will line up outside to accept the tray and carry the trays individually into the house.

Once everyone is inside, incense and two large red candles will be lightened to pay respect and asking his or her past ancestor for permission of the ceremony.  Usually, the bride's family already asked or assigned one person to lighten the incense and two large red candles.  The candles represent the eternal flames of love for the couple. Then, the bride’s mother walks the bride out to introduce to both families.  After the couple exchanges their wedding rings and offer ancestor incense, both side representatives will introduce both sides of the family name and relationship to the bride and groom.

The ceremony includes parents’ speeches and the bride & groom offer tea or wine to parents. The tea ceremony represents the respect and thankfulness of the couple to their parents. This is a good opportunity for family members ( parents, siblings, relatives) to give bride and groom gifts ( red envelopes for luck).  After the ceremony is done, lunch will be served.

 

On your wedding date, everything will remain similar to the engagement day. The wedding ceremony is called LE TAN HON or VU QUY. Nowadays, many families keep the ceremony simple and add a modern twist to adapts today's life. Some couple separates the Le Tan Hon and wedding reception on different dates to reduce the stress. After the Le Tan Hon ceremony is done, a wedding reception dinner is held at a location chosen by the couple. 

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